Overcoming Stress: From Frustration to Action
Stress is a part of life, yet many people feel overwhelmed trying to manage it. In my practice, patients often share frustrations that resonate deeply:
They feel drained of energy.
They struggle to prioritize and say no to unimportant demands.
They shut down when overwhelmed and turn to poor coping mechanisms, like scrolling on their phones, binge-watching TV, or reaching for tobacco or alcohol.
These patterns are common, but the good news is that there are practical, sustainable ways to overcome them. Let’s explore why stress management feels so hard—and how simple changes can make a big difference.
The Energy Crisis: Why Stress Management Feels Exhausting
One of the biggest challenges patients face is not having the energy to make good decisions when they’re stressed. But here’s the secret: it’s not the activity itself that drains energy; it’s the mental effort of deciding what to do.
When you don’t have healthy habits in place, every decision takes effort. But when habits become automatic—something you do the same way, at the same time—they stop requiring mental energy.
For example:
If you always go for a 10-minute walk after dinner, you won’t debate whether you feel like it today—it’s just what you do.
If you prepare healthy snacks in advance, you won’t waste energy deciding whether to grab a bag of chips or an apple.
One of my favorite resources for building sustainable habits is Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s full of actionable tips for creating small habits that lead to big results over time.
Getting Clear on Your Priorities
Stress often feels unmanageable because we spread ourselves too thin, saying yes to things that don’t align with our goals. That’s why it’s essential to take a step back and clarify your priorities.
Start by making a list:
What’s most important to you? Is it your health, family, career, rest, or friendships?
Rank these priorities in order of importance.
Then, when someone asks you to take on a new responsibility or project, pause and check: does this align with your priorities? If it doesn’t, it’s okay to say no.
If you find setting boundaries difficult, I highly recommend Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It’s a great guide for learning how to protect your time and energy without feeling guilty.
Replacing Poor Coping Mechanisms with Healthy Outlets
When overwhelmed, it’s tempting to reach for easy but unhelpful distractions like social media or TV. While these may feel like a break, they don’t actually help relieve stress—and they can even make it worse by overstimulating your brain.
Instead, create a list of healthy stress outlets you can turn to. For example:
Go for a walk.
Listen to music.
Engage in a hobby that doesn’t involve a screen.
Garden or sit outside and watch nature.
Call a friend for support.
These activities not only help you decompress but also give your mind and body the restorative break they truly need.
Moving Forward with Less Stress
The frustrations people face in managing stress are real, but they’re not insurmountable. By building simple habits, clarifying priorities, and replacing poor coping mechanisms with healthier ones, you can take control of your stress and feel more energized and in control of your life.
If you’re ready to take the first step, start small. Create one habit. Set one boundary. Choose one healthy outlet. And if you’re looking for inspiration, check out Atomic Habits and Boundaries—two books that have transformed how I help my patients, and myself, handle stress.
Your stress may not disappear overnight, but with patience and consistency, you’ll find yourself better equipped to navigate life’s challenges—and thrive.
